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Diversity at the end of life. „Leben und Tod“ trade fair in Bremen, May 2025
The “Leben und Tod” trade fair has been held in Bremen for over 15 years. It serves as a meeting place for professionals in the funeral industry, volunteers and anyone who supports people at the end of their lives. The Institute of the Good Death was invited to collaborate as an official partner of this year’s edition. The theme this year was diversity – “Are we all the same at the end of life?”
It was therefore with great pleasure that we set off for Bremen as a delegation of eight people from our collective. The aim was to share Polish mourning traditions, introduce the work of our institute, and learn about trends in the German funeral sector.
1. Polish contribution at the trade fair
The sound of the accordion filled the air right from the opening of the fair. Katarzyna Jackowska-Enemuo and Marta Tarnowska performed Polish funeral songs. First during their performance on the main stage, and later in a more intimate setting during the workshops. Participants were able to learn about the meaning of these songs and sing them together as a group. The atmosphere of the workshop was exceptional. Although none of the participants spoke Polish, singing together allowed them to feel the power of these songs. Traditionally, they were sung in the period between death and the funeral.
During another presentation, the Institute of the Good Death’s founder, Anja Franczak, spoke about how the institute came into being. She described the initial steps and how the collective was formed. Anja emphasised the value of interdisciplinary work. The Institute is a wonderful example of the synergy that arises from diversity. Both the diversity of the collective’s members and the connections that have emerged thanks to entirely new ideas and initiatives. One example was the project to build a coffin in an art gallery in Wrocław and the associated space for conversations about life and death.
The institute’s stand, which proved very popular, was a real showcase of cultural diversity. We brought back baskets full of herbs from Warsaw, mainly mugwort and tansy. These herbs used to hold particular significance in the past. In Polish folk beliefs, they were placed in the coffin or burned to protect the soul of the deceased on its journey to the afterlife. At the fair in Bremen, visitors had the opportunity to make their own incense from mugwort and tansy and take it home as a souvenir. We also set up a sacred corner at the stand. In ancient tradition, this was a special place in the home, dedicated to the memory of the deceased. In the sacred corner, there was wheat (a symbol of life), poppy seeds (a symbol of sleep and death) and honey (a symbol of immortality).
2. Do queer people die differently?
The fair featured a number of talks and workshops on the topic of diversity. Some of them really gave us food for thought.
Right at the beginning of the fair, I listened to the lecture by Dr. phil. Axel Doll. He talked about the challenges LGBTIQ+ people face in the German healthcare system. A lack of acceptance and devaluation mean that an average of 18% of queer people feel discriminated in healthcare. Trans people (40%) and inter people (43%) are the most affected. And it’s not just about wry looks and spiteful comments. One sentence in particular sticked in my mind. Dr. Doll reported that a higher rate of carcinoma has been found in trans men. The reason for this is that they are often denied access to certain services. Discrimination therefore has clear health consequences.
Dr. Doll talked about the fears of the LGBTIQ+ community. Their needs are not taken into account in many care facilities. There is still a great need to improve the circumstances – both through appropriate medical services, education as well as through empathetic understanding of individual life situations. It is about sensitive language, emphatic care, respectful treatment of patients’ biographies and recognising diverse family models, to name just a few topics.
The German society is changing. Young people in Germany, who can be viewed as „Gen Z“, are four times as queer as their grandparents’ generation. This is why questions about the needs of the LGBTIQ+ community will continue to accompany us in the future.
3. Biography and relationships
Another interesting lecture that I’ve attended talked about the family as a place of diversity. Every family has its own roots and traditions. This includes language, religion, dealing with disabilities, sexual orientation and privileges. All of this makes families unique and shapes us from childhood onwards.
Many families also have migration or refugee experiences. In Germany, this affects more than 20 million people. According to the Federal Statistical Office, one in four people in Germany has a history of immigration – either they themselves have immigrated or both of their parents have. This represents an incredible value of intercultural experience and expertise. It is important to recognise this and not to think too quickly in terms of preconceived prejudices. Diversity is not only reflected in our appearance, but also in our diverse life experiences.
The speaker, Ateş Anton Bükey, is far from making generalisations. In the announcement of his lecture, it says: „a person’s background cannot be anticipated, it can only be explored.“ He advocates a reflective and appreciative way of living together.
What influence do family structures have at the end of life? What happens when biological ties are no longer supportive? I am thinking of the concept of chosen families. A network of close people that provides emotional support and security. Supportive structures are already important during our lifetime. If they are in place, we feel less lonely and marginalised. This is particularly essential in the last phase of life.
4. Seeing the whole person
Queer people or people with a migration background die no differently than anyone else. What is different, however, are the conditions and needs they have. These often result from lifelong experiences of discrimination, a lack of social acceptance and fears. We need to talk about this. The „Leben und Tod“ fair is a wonderful example of education and dialogue.
In a society as diverse as Germany, we need to ask ourselves: How can we help people feel welcome in this country? We need to be sensitive to each other. Preferably while we are still alive. People are never the problem, but rather our attitude towards them. Our openness to seeing ourselves in another person
As I sit on the train on the way back, the words of Margot Friedländer, which Mr Bükey also quoted, come to mind. Margot Friedländer was an impressive personality and Holocaust survivor who died at the beginning of May 2025. She said:
“We are all the same. There is no Christian blood, no Muslim blood, no Jewish blood. There is only human blood”
Even though we are different and our lives are characterised by different experiences, I like to return to this quote. Because it contains the core of an attitude that we should always have. At the end of the day, we are all human – and that is what connects us the most.
With love,
Aleksandra
This blog post is also available in Polish on the website of the “Instytut Dobrej Śmierci” (Institute of the Good Death).
