Shine with shiatsu journal
How to massage your child in 3 steps. A simple guide.
Would you like to know how to massage your child? Here is a simple guide.
“I miss my friends” is something I hear a lot from my daughter these days. It’s been almost six weeks since she had any contact with her classmates. Well… if you don’t count the two meetings via Zoom, which made her even sadder and more frustrated. I have noticed how difficult it is for her to talk about herself in these video conferences. Although she’s usually quite happy and joyful, there’s a lot of sadness and uncertainty that she’s dealing with right now.
As we adults try to deal with this new situation day by day, it is important not to forget how challenging this time is for our children.
I believe we need to find ways to create an atmosphere of openness and space. So that our children can explore what is happening inside them. One of the most wonderful ways to do this is through touch. Simple and mindful touch.
Through this experience, children can learn to connect with their bodies, their emotions and their needs. This is not a one-off benefit, but a skill for life. Want to know more?
Here are 3 tips to help you make a meaningful connection and support your child’s physical and emotional wellbeing.
1. Find a positive space for your massage
Before you start the massage, make sure you are in a positive mood. It won’t work well if you’re worried or stressed. Children pick up on their parents’ emotional state very easily, so it’s good to be aware of this. Make yourself comfortable and relax. If you’re finding it hard to calm down, try some breathing exercises first. This will help you arrive in the present moment.
Find a quiet place where you can create a pleasant atmosphere. You can use some blankets and pillows, or massage your child while they lie on a bed or sofa. If you like, you can put on some soft music. Now imagine that you have all the time in the world and try not to rush. All you really need is between 5 and 20 minutes. As children are very receptive to touch, short sessions provide plenty of stimulation for their bodies and minds. It’s better not to keep them for too long, but to keep them regular.
2. Keep it simple
The basis of connecting with your child during massage is your open heart and the joy of being together. For me, that’s the key to a mindful connection. Keep it simple and natural. There is no need to know about massage techniques, joints, muscles or meridians. Use touch as a way to cultivate listening and let your child guide you. I encourage you to communicate throughout the session. Be sure to pause from time to time. Ask your child how they are feeling, what they like or enjoy most and then adjust the touch based on their feedback.
If you’re not sure how to start, it’s a good idea to massage the back first. Your child can lie on their stomach and you can move gently to their legs and feet. You can then move to the front, touching the tummy, arms, legs, fingers and toes.
3. Make the massage playful
If it feels right, you can add some play elements to your massage. Most children love this, although it may depend on their age.
I usually offer different rhythms and pressures so that my child can explore what they like best.
I often incorporate storytelling or draw words or symbols on their backs. What works really well with younger children is to introduce some characters, like animals, that play a certain role. For example, you can walk down the child’s leg as a lion, a mouse or a butterfly. This will of course feel very different and will appeal to your child’s imagination.
What I also like to do is change roles. Then my children give me a short massage. It is always great fun! It also teaches them what it means to offer touch and to respect personal boundaries.
It’s so wonderful to feel the soft touch of those little hands stroking my head with so much care and love. Try it, I’m sure it will be a good experience!
4. Summary
I’ve been massaging my children since they were very young, but the last six weeks of living with the Corona virus have opened up a new dimension for me. It was and still is a great way to stay connected to them, to allow moments of relaxation and calm.
We all need touch. Even more so in times of crisis and uncertainty. The other night, as I was giving my daughter a massage and she was about to fall asleep, she suddenly said something out of the blue that took me by surprise. “Mummy, I don’t want to see my friends on the screen. That is so weird! I like my friends to be real”. There she was, lying in this safe space, relaxing into her body and discovering answers that were deep within her. What a joy to witness that.
Love,
Aleksandra
